Sick Day

I'm home sick today which means I'm piled up in bed, flipping channels with a cat on either side of me.  For my cats, it's a novelty for me to stay in bed all day and I think they feel duty bound to take advantage of my captive state.  I doubt they leave my side all day.

I'm not the best sick person.  For me staying in bed all day isn't a good thing, no matter what the reason is. It gives me to too much time to think.  Okay, I don't really think so much as I worry and brood.  And since so much of my life is still so much up in the air, I can't help but worry and brood.  I've been trying for a while now to take each day, one day at a time.  Sometimes this works.  Other times...not so much. 

The things I currently brood about?  Oh, just about everything. As I've mentioned before, I'm an introvert and an intense one at that.  I've never been someone who can just throw caution to the wind and let life take me wherever it may. So when life throws me curve balls (which is all life has done over the last few years), I brood and worry.  The biggest thing I worry about is what I'm going to do with the entirety of the rest of my life....which is pretty big.  I keep telling myself that somehow, some way, things will eventually work out and fall into place. And then I remember I've been telling myself this for two very long years and I go back to brooding and worrying.

I envy the carefree people in life.  I also envy the people who are able to look at things through a strictly logical lense.  Depending solely on logic means no emotion and therefore no worry. Anyway....

I have to make a big decision soon about whether to stay in the museum world or leave it.  I have a job interview in another city on Friday.  I've decided that if this one doesn't pan out, it will be the last out of town interview I'll pursue.  Unless something miraculous happens between now and the new year, I'm leaning toward finding a way out of museum work and staying in the city I currently live in.  This means having to make some other decisions I'm not terribly comfortable making and it also means trying to figure out what new career to pursue.  I truly have no idea what else I'd like to do and that's frightening. 

Another year is about to come to a close.  It's weird how when you go through a difficult time, each day seems like it will never end.  And when the end of the year finally approaches, it's equally difficult to believe it's already here. I'm hoping to find answers to a lot of questions over the next year.  I'm also hoping to end up in a place where I can take a break from worrying and brooding.