Resolutions

1.  Archery - I gave archery a try over the summer and really enjoyed it.  I'd like to take it up as a hobby (or a sport?) and I know that there's an archery range where I'm moving.  This year seems like a good time to give it a go.

2. Fencing.  I've long wanted to try fencing.  Sword fighting just looks fun and really kind of kick ass.  The historian in me loves the idea of it.  I'm going to try to fit it in this year.

3.  I'd like to fit it a foreign language but this may be far too ambitious.  I wouldn't mind perfecting my French or learning Italian or German or even Gaelic.  I just don't know that this is a legitimate goal for this list. We'll see.

 4.  Some fun road trips with friends.  I love travel and I love road trips.  It's been far too long since I've done either.  This year seems like the year to change that. 

5.  To worry less.  I have no idea how to accomplish this.  I'm a natural worrier and I don't have faith easily.

6. To come to acceptance or make peace with the fact that I'm single and will likely remain so.  I don't enjoy being single, but...on a good day, I'm complicated.  And I have a hell of lot of emotional baggage. I think there are plenty of good things about me but combining my complications and emotional baggage with my very strong, opinionated personality...well, it would take a very brave man with the patience of a saint to take me on. I would have to get brave, too....or at least be inspired enough to try to be brave. I would have to be given reason to have faith in someone again and that's asking a lot of another person.  It seems unfair to expect someone to prove themselves and yet that's what it would take.  I wish I could be one of those non-introspective people who jump willy-nilly from one relationship to the next without a second thought, though.  Lots of people do it every day.  The minute they get single, they start looking for the next relationship, rebounding over and over again. I can't seem to do that.  Anyway, coming to acceptance is a goal. 

7.  And finally, find a way to like the idea of turning 40.  Turning 40 is incredibly scary.  I really had no idea how freaked out I would be by a number.  I've had people over the years tell me that their 40's were a really great period in their life.  That they felt stronger, more confident and more comfortable in their own skin.  I'm really hoping these things are true.  So, maybe this year, I can find a reason to like turning 40. 

These are my resolutions....I think. 

2014 and Going On 40

First things first.  I'm moving.  Again.  I'm going back to central Arkansas and for a lot of reasons, I'm happy about it.  The next three weeks are going to be crazy and hectic. I hope I make it through in one piece.  I think each new move I make takes something out of me. Moving around so much at this point in my life is exhausting.  It just is.  I'm starting to feel old and I want to be settled.  I want a home.  I'm tired of moving and being so up in the air about everything.  So, I'm really hoping this will be my last move for a very, very long time.

This last year has been....bizarre.  And flat out crazy at times.  At least for me.  I had high hopes for my move here and they didn't pan out.  For many years, my life was calm, normal, predictable and drama free.  I've paid for that in spades over the last year. I managed to fit what felt like a lifetime of problems and complications into a very short period. It was an eventful year, to say the least. I put my cat to sleep, got into a major car wreck (and a smaller fender bender this week), lost a job that I was ultimately relieved to lose, dealt with endless rental problems, discovered a love of coffee, started wearing glasses (which I needed more than I wanted to admit), worked in a profession I had no background in but ended up really enjoying (the really great people helped that), published some articles as a result of that job, watched far, far too much Netflix, discovered that a good hammock can cure the blues from time to time and unsuccessfully tried to come to terms with turning 40 soon. This is actually the short list.  There are other things I'm not comfortable blogging about. 

In recent days, I've been thinking about making New Year's resolutions for the first time.  I considered it last year but ultimately didn't.  I'm not great on the follow through, so resolutions always seem pointless.  However, as I mentioned above, I'm turning 40 this year....actually in just a few months. Forty is a milestone. A scary, intimidating, mid-life crisis inducing milestone that is freaking me out more than I care to admit.  I can't say it's making me any more introspective than what I normally am (I'm already introspective to the point of neurotic).  It's just that I'm starting to feel old.  Anyway, making some resolutions might help me find a way to come to terms with 40. 

Resolutions to come...

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